Morning at the Burrow
by JalepenoVampire
Summary: Your not-so-typical morning at the Burrow. Harry x Draco, Fred x George, implied Ginny x David Tennant. This has more crack than Columbia I swear to God... Strong T rating


Pairing: Draco x Harry, Fred x George, implied Ginny x David Tennant

Prompt: 2 out of 5 phrases; explosions, time machine, condoms, kitten, tights

Rating: PG-13 to R. I'm not sure.

Disclaimer: I don't even own my body. What makes you think I own Harry Potter or Doctor Who?

On with the story!

"Mornin', mate." Ron said cheerfully. He went unheard.

"Draco... Do it again... Nnn... Yeah that feels good..." Harry mumbled in his sleep. It went on like this for the next 10 minutes. By the time Harry rolled over, Ron was laughing so hard he was crying.

"Mornin', Ron. What's so funny?" Harry said groggilly. Ron's loud laughter woke him up from a nice dream.

"You are. You were talking in your sleep." At this point, Ron broke out into hysterical laughter. Harry blushed.

"Yeah? What did I say?" Harry asked, trying to hide his embarassment.

"Something like, 'Nnn... Draco... Do it again...' May I ask what you were dreaming about?" Ron asked, trying to supress a grin.

"Promise not to laugh?" Harry asked.

"Promise. Now spill. What was it?"

"Well I kinda sorta have a crush on Draco and that's what the dream was about," Harry was talking very quickly, "and we were together in a room and he started to kiss me and-"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute. Slow down! You like _Malfoy?_ I can't believe it! Harry, why-?" But then he suddenly understood. Harry was constantly glancing across the room at Draco in the past year. He talked a lot more about Draco. Why hadn't Ron understood sooner?

"Ohh. Now it makes sense! Let's go find Hermione. She'll help us help you get your man!" Ron said as he jumped up from the floor and grabbed Harry's arm.

"But, can't this wait until after breakfast?" Harry exclaimed as Ron pulled him towards the door in his Golden Snitch pajamas.

"Sure why not?" Ron said as he let go of Harry's arm.

When they went down to breakfast, they were the only ones up. According to the clock telling where everybody was, Mr. Weasley, Percy, Bill, and Charlie had already left for the Ministry; Mrs. Weasley had gone to the store for something, and everyone else was in the house.

"Well mate, looks like we're cookin' today." Ron said, a little bit of dislike in his tone.

"Guess so." And with that, they set to work, cooking food for six people, when suddenly the house was filled with sounds that sounded suspiciously like moans.

"Bloody hell! Harry, what d'you reckon that noise is?" Ron asked as the noise grew louder and he dropped an egg by accident.

"Whatever it is, I hope it stops soon. It's almost worse than Voldemort's voice. Oh, _grow_ _up_, Ron-" he had winced at the sound of Voldemort's name, "Anyway, the sound's annoying." Harry finished.

They worked with the noise for what seemed to be forever, then, right as they finished the last of the toast and placed a heating charm on it, the noise stopped.

"About time." Ron said.

Right at that moment, Fred and George walked out of their room. And Ginny came downstairs into the kitchen.

"Guess what?" Fred asked.

"Exploding condoms!" George finished triumphantly.

"Guess what? I have David Tennant in my bed and he wants toast." Ginny retorted sarcastically.

"Really? That's awesome! Here, give him an exploding condom!" Fred said as he handed her what looked like a purple condom.

"You're kidding right?" Ginny asked, scowling at the condom.

"Nope!" Fred beamed.

"We just perfected it!" George copied his brother and beamed also.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" Ron shouted, "Were you the ones making that racket just now?"

"Yeah. You didn't know? We're gay-" George said.

"And we're in love with each other!" Fred finished.

If Ron's ears were red, they were now more scarlet than the Griffindor banner. "That's more information then I ever needed in my life." Ron said quietly. Everyone laughed.

"What in bloody hell are you guys doing? It's the middle of the night!" Hermione yelled from the stairs.

"Hermione, love-" Fred started.

"It's 12:30-" George continued.

"In the afternoon." They finished simultaneously.

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe it! I actually slept in! This is horrible!" Hermione began to sob.

Ron went over to her. "What's wrong?"

"Now I can't sleep tonight!" Hermione sobbed. Everybody rolled their eyes.

"Hermione, I have bigger problems. You see, I'm gay-" Harry started but was interrupted.

"Damnit!" Ginny shouted.

"Anyway, I'm gay and in love with someone I shouldn't be. Help?" Harry finished.

"It's Malfoy right?" Everyone gaped at Hermione.

"How did you-" Harry stuttered.

"Woman's intuition. Now, here's what you do. Serenade him, cook for him, and send him love letters 'til he gives in, which by my calculations, shouldn't be more than a week. Now, go!" Hermione shooed him off to do her bidding.

~One week later~

Harry Potter walked down the halls of Hogwarts, a certain arrogant blonde holding hands with him. When they reached Potions class, they didn't bother to let go of each other's hands. When they walked in, everybody but Hermione and Professor Snape was gaping at them. Hermione smiled, and Professor Snape said, "Potter, Malfoy, 10 points from Griffindor and Slitherin for JUST now realizing your attraction to each other. Now please take your seats."

Harry would have argued back, but he was in too good of a mood. Fred and George made a fortune off the exploding condoms, an Ginny is now spinning off in the TARDIS with David Tennant. THE END.

A/N: wooow... I think that had more crack in it than Columbia does XD Review?


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